BadMormon

But

i’m the stubborn type.

So i go on.

See news for lack of content

i’m also doing a million other things but point being the tiny extra time my blog gets has gone the way of the video game. this will correct itself soon but in the mean time…

STRUGGLES WITH ART!

what happens when you realize you aren’t sure what the hell you’re doing with the stage time anymore?

and the writing

suddenly have home alone down time and feel like I want to get online, connect, say interesting things, but damn it, so hard to feel that it makes a difference, matters at all.

so i’ll just repeat this theme for the next month as I struggle to figure out what the hell to do with myself now.

Been so loong since I blogged

I forgot my user name and password. Luckily I’ve been doing this long enough I left some breadcrumbs back to my super secret log on identity so you could get this! um, This enlightened babble!

BadMormon just read archives and enjoys herself!

The overwhelming WAS PMS

not that the problems go away, the stresses that are this economy, these life choices for experience and passion instead of stability and saving but the manic mental cycle of emotional crazy that everything is going to fall in on me at once, well, that was hormones.  PLEASE MENOPAUSE, TAKE ME AWAY!

Maybe it’s just PMS

But I’m very veclemt today.

Teary. weepy. It goes away when I hang out with people, and in a fortuitous lining up of the stars I’ve had friends around today to hang with and distract me. But when I sit alone.

Part of it is that I feel stressed over taking care of other people but like no one is taking care of me. which I try to fix by trying to take care of more people cause I think they need it and do my best not to let old friends cast adrift and wondering if I have the ability to…well finish this post.

(a)muse collective

this is the thing I’m working on with my friends, to put on shows, create art, enjoy life and maybe get it to pay for itself. I made a website for it. It’s ok.:)
(a)muse collective

What I want now!

ok, so the last plea for happy learning has been working!   I have to write a big long thing about it all, been letting it stew, trying not to rush into my conclusions as I am wont to do.  but due to the magical nature of you, my internet love, i am just asking outright.  I need an intel macbook.  specific enough? it’s true.  Older version fine, firewire 400 and 800 would be great! (do they make those?) and money.  Just money, nice, easy, no stress money falling into my life.

This will be the proof in the pudding!  

(i have less faith in this request than others:)  happy human growth is easier to magic up than hard adn firm items I bet.  but i will still love you anyway my precious internet baby!)

computer woes

as a professional in the computer world when i have equipment issues i can sometimes fix them and sometimes have them totally interrupt how I do things.  ie my laptop died and I have a desktop but it’s got to be arranged to have all my crap on it in the way I like it and even as that is getting done I find I hate how it is to sit in front of a big screen adn type.

I like hunching over my little baby, trackpadding it to glory, ruining my posture, stressing my shoulders, a bubble of internet and work goodness.

the chair roles, the arms are out, the computer has noisey fan, there is too much sitting up.  i’m not gettign thigns done cause my system is whacked out!  and that is one of the reasons my blog has been silent.  the other is working on the new collective, shows, child, tired, uninspired and a little obsessive facebooking.

but i’m still here:)