AAARRRRGGGG
Lost a check, an important check. The check that would have fed me and my son this week. Oh we have food, the canned items and dried peas and things hidden in the back you buy on a whim and never get around to making, like a bag of satay vermicilli. Just not the normal yummy food we’re use to conveniently picking up at the corner store. Feb is a hard month and this feb is a little worse. I usually end up being late with rent cause I spend the money on the essentials first and while I, in general, make enough to just cover everything it can be hard to get $1,300 together in one bank account at a time to write the check.
I just cancelled my internet service even. There’s an open one in my apt floating and often I am elsewhere stealing anyway. My emails addys are through other folks. Don’t have tv of any sort. Have two teeth that are in the root canal zone and really could use a computer that can run the lastest system.
And I’m afraid things are going to get worse. Apple opened up this pro-care training thing for CHEAP, have several stores and the computers, however much people are never happy, aren’t breaking as much, aren’t as hard to set up, aren’t scaring the crap out of the next generation – all things my freelancing helped for people.
The companies I work for are also having problems with money and downsizing and simply not having the same workload or upgrade paths so my services are not as required either.
On top of everything else I’m stressed about work and money, still, again, forever. And this week, with the lost check and feb and shows and the loss, grief, loss I am feeling, well, at least I’m not eating much these days. I look fabulous.
I had 5 clients contact me this week and before I could get back to them they fixed their own problems. We’re talking within 5 min of the contact.
sigh.
I’ve been through lean times before – .com bust, 9/11, but I just don’t want to do it again.
Time to go to a rehearsal about a show that is a comedy about suicide!
Seriously, do me, penny, (a)muse collective a favor: at least see the show. Even if I have no money and fail miserably in my professional life at least the art can be appreciated.
