BadMormon

nothing better

than a day where the campaign to remove an new friend seems to have a worked, a different friend that the ex demanded you drop is calling and now that is all awkward, and you’re sorta sick cause you are not in a good head space to go to bed and stay well, and of course, after the old fling shows up to let you know that he hadn’t thought about it at the time (when he decided you weren’t the one for him) but he misses you, (you wonderful old fantasy broad you), nothing is better than a day which you get to go on the facebook and see a tender photo of your ex, (the one you actually believed the words from, and thought you had something with that was gonna last the rest of your life, and of course that would make so much of it better cause you had help and friendship etc,) in a tender photo totem pole, head above head, his on top resting gently on hers, the other heads being the two women he ditched you for – due to rockstar hot pants and limited self-esteem. Funny how once thinking you were the most important person in someone’s life makes you feel like shit when you realize he doesn’t want you. And you’re spose to chock it up to a learning experience, and move on, and etc. Of course that will probably help as he keeps quitting everything we once did together, as well as find excuses to not speak to me, you know, so I can have my space not cause he’s so busy being popular finding an hour in the week for us to talk, like we agreed, well it’s just too much. An effort towards me is just too much to fit in with the drinking, and hanging with the women who make him feel like a hero, something I used to think he was.

Neat thing about it is that it certainly confirms all the brainwashing schemes I’ve been deeply considering, how to change my own mind into something that doesn’t ever go through this again. There has just been too much loss in my life. Apparently I simply don’t get over it.