BadMormon

BadMormon just read archives and enjoys herself!

oh yeah

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I want.

I dream it.

I breathe it in as my nose meets your shoulder in a hug of support.

I have no idea of my rights, rules and wheretofores pertaining to the situation.

I simply want.

An animal with an instinctual bond who can’t get it out of her head when you’re not here, when you are here, whenever we’re not touching, whenever we are.

I’ve tried using intelligence against it but it does not listen.

I’ve tried negotiating partial treaties and distancing for protection but never does it last.

Always I come back to your back, your shoulders, your lips, your face and the laughter between us.

I want.

Went on Vacation, Came Back

It felt so relaxing, driving all over the western US with family and a friend. Eventful but not stressful. Everyone grown enough so that when tempers became short they were simple growls stopped and forgiven immediately with more laughs and caring thrown in on the edges to pad things out.

And now I’m back, scrambling to make up for the time so desperately needed away.

NYC it’s a hell of a town.

I would be bored, whiny and unhappy anywhere else but I’m stressed, tired, headachy never one step ahead here.

happiness. That has always been my goal, internal happiness. Where is the combo of the two? Busy but healthy?

Always my whine. Always my problem. Balance of it all. Human nature and the reality of life says it never gonna happen.

So then you work on accepting things as they are.

I’m very very bad at that. I tend to throw fits and apply my not inconsiderable talents to bending the world into giving me what I want.

But always I wonder if it’s the smartest for myself thing to do.

Hindsight, get the ahead of me!

Regular blogging for artistic processing to resume soon.