BadMormon

Protected: test 3 of private

Protected: Another Test of password posts

Goopy Thanksgiving, Giving of Thanks Post

I’m torn on thanksgiving.  I am not pleased that it’s a celebration of the beginnings of the systematic destruction of indigenous peoples.

Or that it was sorta forced into the public conscience way back when for dubious reasons, interesting history though.

This year I’ve been experiencing a lot of ups and downs and I think I’ve been having a midlife crisis over it all.  One of those points where you open your eyes, look around and go “Is anything at all working for me in this life?  What have I done with it?  What do I have? What do I do next?”

My answers vary depending on what part I’m investigating.

But time and time again I find myself surrounded by good family and friends.  Even the folks I went to high school with are excellent adults I’m thoroughly enjoying meeting up with again as adults. I’m not sure it’s mutual but we’ll see.

I am a little astounded.  I do have a strong personality and argumentative opinions.  I do my best to remember “but for the grace of god” knowing that if life takes a left turn I could be in the same boat as the person doing something I’m preparing to judge and opinionated on.  It could be me.

That doesn’t always tame me but it helps keep me bearable, I think.

And I’m doing something right.  I have many close friends and a wonderful son and a wide group of people I can count on.

It’s the George Bailey syndrome and I’ll take it.

Greenspan not so great after all…

The oracle is among the last to discover what the rest of us have long since experienced in more tangible ways: Unbridled self-interest, it turns out, isn't rational at all, and simply consumes until it destroys even its own environment and needs saving from itself.
What else could have been expected in a market designed by Greenspan and others to operate a kind of derivative-driven Hobbsian "state of nature" where there is "no justice and no injustice because there are no laws"?
And how could he not have known? How, when he was warned again and again, and either ignored his critics or silenced them, and scorned calls to regulate the financial instruments that played a huge role in bringing about this crisis? Why did he do nothing at all to stop it or reduce the harm that would inevitably be done? Why did he choose instead to let the bubble burst and pick up the pieces later?

Pam’s House Blend:: “Drop Dead” Conservatism, Part One

.

The Frantics Revisited: Boot to the Head Nowendays, For Every Mom and Son

YouTube – Phoenix Wright – Boot to the Head.

You’re a Douchebag Mr. Douche…(sing along!)

Whats more, the state, acting through the university, is trying to coerce and bully me into doing something I find repugnant and offensive. I find it offensive not only because of the insinuations it carries and the potential stigma it implies, but also because I am being required to do it for political reasons. The fact is that there is a vocal political/cultural interest group promoting this silliness as part of a politically correct agenda that I dont particularly agree with.

The sham of sex harassment training – Los Angeles Times.

—-

My politically correct agenda is that I stop being viewed as a piece of ass to be used and tossed. That I get the same money as you for comparable work.  That every douchebag walking around wakes up and notices I’m a Person.

Guess what, sexual harassment training may be annoying and goofy but it does what we humans do all the time, teaches with repetative messages what is and is not ok.  You as a TEACHER AT A UNIVERSITY should understand that.

And if you want it to remain ok for rape, abuse and making people feel like nothing then continue on and be a fuckin douche.  We’re still gonna get our way.

Apparently you don’t need God to be good, just a bunch of people watching to judge you about your behavior

In one of their own studies, they primed half the participants with a spirituality-themed word jumble (including the words divine and God) and gave the other half the same task with nonspiritual words. Then, they gave all the participants $10 each and told them that they could either keep it or share their cash reward with another (anonymous) subject. Ultimately, the spiritual-jumble group parted with more than twice as much money as the control. Norenzayan and Shariff suggest that this lopsided outcome is the result of an evolutionary imperative to care about one’s reputation. If you think about God, you believe someone is watching. This argument is bolstered by other research that they review showing that people are more generous and less likely to cheat when others are around. More surprisingly, people also behave better when exposed to posters with eyes on them.

… cut a few paragraphs…

In his new book, Society Without God, Phil Zuckerman looks at the Danes and the Swedes—probably the most godless people on Earth. They don’t go to church or pray in the privacy of their own homes; they don’t believe in God or heaven or hell. But, by any reasonable standard, they’re nice to one another. They have a famously expansive welfare and health care service. They have a strong commitment to social equality. And—even without belief in a God looming over them—they murder and rape one another significantly less frequently than Americans do.

Denmark and Sweden aren’t exceptions. A 2005 study by Gregory Paul looking at 18 democracies found that the more atheist societies tended to have relatively low murder and suicide rates and relatively low incidence of abortion and teen pregnancy.

So, this is a puzzle. If you look within the United States, religion seems to make you a better person. Yet atheist societies do very well—better, in many ways, than devout ones.

The latest research on the correlation between religion and niceness. – By Paul Bloom – Slate Magazine.

White Guys Gonna Lose Power? Oh NO! I mean YAAAAAAAAY!

There are certain men that feel that filling the airwaves with their hate and aggression is the proper way to illuminate the evils of this world. What is important to note is that what they consider evil, are not things like hunger, rape, pestilence and war…nooo the real evil is that white men, (who btw constitute the most privileged class in history) might possibly loose some of their unearned privilege. All of the brown peoples and women of this world need to accept the white man as our natural leader.
“You are going to see the wholesale replacement of competent white men, and I’m targeting exactly the group that’s gonna be thrown out of jobs in the government. And I’ll say it, and I’ll be the first to say it, and I may be not the only — the last to say it. I am telling you that there’s gonna be a wholesale firing of competent white men in the United States government up and down the line, in police departments, in fire departments. Everywhere in America, you’re going to see an exchange that you’ve never seen in history, and it’s not gonna be necessarily for the betterment of this country.”
Right, because white men have done an outstanding job of leadership? We will just ignore the wars, police brutality, rapes, poverty, etc and etc….How can POC not recognize how good we have it? How can women not be content to be second class citizens, when we are afforded the ability to worship at the the phallic throne of whiteness? We do after all retain the right to spit or swallow, how many more options do we need in life?

Womanist Musings.

paradigm shift

For most of his life my son, The Boy, has split his week between his Father and me.  I pick him up thursday night and keep him till sunday night/monday morning.

His dad and I spent years with him calling me sunday night at 7pm asking where The Boy was and me replying that he was right here, please feel free to come get him. Then he would hang up on me and I would spend some time overridden with anxiety waiting for him to do something really, really shitty.  I had realized I didn’t have to run all over NYC doing both pick up and drop off just because I had once said I would.

As I was leaving him, barganing for him to not be angry I had arranged it.  The Boy was young, had day care in the neighborhood.  BDiddy best friend’s younger sister had a room for rent.  Ex was working a odd ended week and had Monday and Tuesday off.  I had told him I would pick The Boy up and drop him off, for some dumb reason feeling guilty for wanting to leave this man.  His line had been I could leave but I wouldn’t take The Boy.  As my ex’s best friend loaded my things into the truck and my ex threw things around in the apartment and my baby boy cried and reached for me, the friend muttered to me, “You’re doing the right thing.”

Now we need change it so that Dad has him Friday night and to Sunday afternoon and a few hours monday and tues after school so The Boy can play with his younger brother by another mother.  For real.  This is because a power struggle that has gone on for all of BDiddy’s life with every other person in his world is escalating when baby daddy tries to make the kid do things, like shower and get a haircut.  The Boy is getting pissed.

The Boy has been telling me he doesn’t want to go back to his dad’s.  We’ve decided to try this modified schedule.  We were talking about it tonight in the kitchen as he demolished half pound of pasta and sauce.  And I kept marveling at what a casual guy posture he’s adopted since I bought him a bunch of jeans last week.

I have also figured out that I am a sucker for him and am trying to wisen and toughen up.

So I ask him, “Do you want to live with me just because I’m a pushover and you get to do what you want to do?”  He had pushed a sleepover to a very long day with his best friend but I think it was healthy, went to soccer game, hung with guys, at pizza, was yelled at severely to get his butt home.  This family has been totally pickin up our slack as I try to work and be a mom.  And The Boy hates coming home to an empty house.  Doesn’t like to use his keys.

Oh, so I ask him if I’m a sucker and at his dad’s he doesn’t get away with stuff (I know that’s crap or HE WOULD DO HIS HOMEWORK!  Not one assignment handed in this year yet.  I had to make him pull out the two pieces I have sat for hours making him do and hand them to his teacher.  He said he’s afraid he’s gonna be told they’re bad, in fact he knows they suck.  They don’t suck.)

He answers, “You’re not a pushover, it’s hard to get it, I have to wheedle and…and…”

“huh.  really.”  Note to self start making favorite word, “no.”

But anyway once again I was talking to him about it, the tales of his father vs my home, asking him how much he exaggerates the incidences he is telling me about.

He admitted to playing down the good parts, but not really telling me all about the neglect and how bad that can be, but maaaaybe making it sound worse when it’s bad, but bad is still not good.

And I said, “Yeah, well, maybe this will make it better, we’ll tell him he doesn’t have to worry about hair, grooming, getting homework done, you guys can just relax and have fun, and maybe without the worry he’ll chill out.”

My son popped his head up, finished chewing an entirely too large bundle of rigatoni and said ” Huh.”

I replied, “What”

“Oh I just realized something and I have to go to the bedroom and cry but it’s a good thing.”

“What is it?”

“Oh, I’ll tell you but i have to go cry first.  It’s about my dad.”

“Ok sweetie, whatever you got to do.  Ya gotta cry ya gotta cry.” The curiosity/worry made my neck throb.

He walked out into his room and closed the door for a whole 30 seconds and then was back.

“I talked to much, I can’t cry now.”

“Oh yeah, that happens.”

“But you know what I realized?  Dad is mean because he loves me.”

“Yeah, you got it, he worries and doesn’t know what to do with it and wants you to grow up happy.  We both love you so very much.”

And he sat in my lap and I rubbed his back.

“That’s a very mature realization.”

“I’ve been mature since i was four.”

“Oh you get to be a kid too you know.”  I looked him in the face for a minute, noting every feature, every divot, assigning it to the parent or grandparent or side of the family it belongs too.  It’s a game I play.  I see a chance to ask him a question that’s been nagging me.  “Hey, did you ever play as a kid?  Make up stories, um play?”

“He looked at me for a second, breaks into a grin, “Nope.”

“Haha, I couldn’t remember much.  Oh well, some brains like to think and organize more than play.”

“Yeah”

“So, um, can you do what needs to be done to keep things cool if you stay at your dad’s more?  You know, do everything he says exactly when he says it?”

“um”

“yeah, I won’t write that letter yet then, we’ll talk some more, good I was gonna write it tomorrow.”

He smiles again, my son relaxed is just a beautiful creature and I’m NOT biased, and says, “Yeah, don’t write the letter.”

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Hillary Rodham Clinton has decided to give up her Senate seat and accept the position of secretary of state, making her the public face around the world for the administration of the man who beat her for the Democratic presidential nomination, two confidants said Friday.

Clinton Is Said to Accept Offer of Secretary of State Position – NYTimes.com